Stand By Me We were delighted to have Jackie Proctor from Scotland with us at our 'Stand By Me' meeting yesterday. She shared this outstanding poem written by Caroline a member of her group. I hope you like it. It brought tears to my eyes. I hope Scotland and Ireland will unite in our struggle to achieve freedom, equality, truth and human for those labelled with false, non scientific 'diagnoses'. If Only... By Caroline 2012 If only you knew how it feels... To go in as a voluntary admission Because you knew all you needed was sleep And then, as if in you worst nightmare, Find out that you can't get out. To be imprisoned, confined and incarcerated. To be pinned to the bed my medication. To ingest so much quetiapine, haloperidol, Risperadol, lorazepam, diazepam,seroquel That you begin to lose yourself. If only you knew how that felt. If only you knew how it feels.... To be labelled "presenting as disheveled" When you hair is the maddest thing about you. To be threatened by other patients When you won't drink their stolen vodka. To take the hairdryer cord from you friend's Neck and be sent to you room for interfering. To be given all the drugs the pharmaceuticals Can offer(provided you queue like a good girl) But be deprived of the only thing you need - Someone to LISTEN. If only you knew how that felt. If only you know how it feels... To be robbed of you liberty, your family, Your dignity and your very IDENTITY. When you point out the system's absurdities When you dare to quote the Mental Health Act And question the written and unwritten rules And you are patronised and drugged To shut you up so you don't upset anyone. Dictated to by doctors with a DSM dependency And no idea of you humanity. If only you know how that felt. If only you know how it feels... When your five year old daughter visits Clinging and crying because she thinks it's her Chicken-pox that made Mummy go away. When a well-meaning nurse marches you Along the corridor to ECT and announces "If you don't behave, you will end up here." So you learn how to act, be seen to behave Present yourself less colourfully. Say the things the doctor wants to hear. Take the lithium you have never wanted Keep to yourself, speak less, smoke more,. If only you knew how that felt. If only you knew how it feels.. To be let out into the glaring sunlight and told "These people are not your friends Go back to you old life." But your old life doesn't want you anymore Your friends cross the road to avoid you Because they know where you've been And it sure weren't a holiday! When after departure you find your only Traveling companions are a 40 a day habit And enough medication to take your own life Several times over. If only you knew how that felt. If only you knew how it feels... When thanks to your "treatment" You now fit the DSM bill for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder In every diagnostic criteria from A to F! To trust no-one - especially doctors You talk to no-one. You cease to exist. When you lie in bed with handfuls of pills Wishing to deprive your daughter of her mother. If only you knew how that felt. If only... If only... Because only if you know how that felt And you knew how it haunts me today You could prescribe what I needed the most Sleep and someone to listen.